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- Introduction
-
- Thank you for downloading XEmacs. We of the XEmacs development team
- believe user satisfaction is our number one priority, and we hope that
- you will be pleased with the power of our editor. Please follow all
- of the instructions in order to enjoy a quick and easy installation.
-
-
- Getting Started
-
- In this guide, information which you will need to supply will be enclosed in
- angle brackets, <like this>. Commands which you will have to enter will be
- indented,
-
- like this.
-
- You will need to provide a loading directory, in which to load the
- material from tape (/tmp/xemacs is recommended), and a permanent
- installation directory (/usr/local/xemacs is recommended).
-
-
- Loading From Tape
-
- First create and change directory to the loading directory:
-
- mkdir <working directory>
- cd <working directory>
-
- Now you are ready to load the software from tape.
-
- The specific device name needed to load the tape varies with hardware vendors,
- and may be found in Appendix A, "Vendors and Device Names".
-
- Load the software from tape:
-
- tar xvf /dev/<device name>
-
- You have now loaded all of the software from tape, and are ready to compile and
- install the XEmacs Text Editor.
-
-
- Compiling and Installing the XEmacs Editor
-
- Compiling and installing the libraries is handled by a user-friendly shell
- script. You will need to provide some information to the script, such as your
- organization name and registration number. To run the script, type
-
- /bin/sh xemacs/xemacs.install -d <installation directory>
-
- Follow the script's directions, and provide the information which it prompts
- for.
-
- When the script prompts you for the directory in which the distribution files
- are located, you will find that you are unable to provide it with any directory
- which the script will deem satisfactory. That is because it is necessary to
- order the following additional parts which are necessary to continue with the
- installation:
-
- Part Number Qty Name Price
-
- GM-96-3026 1 Goat, male 1000.00
- CB-13-2395 1 Candle, black 50.00
- CG-63-6376 1 Chalk dust container 10.00
- IB-89-3335 5 Incense sticks 5.00
- DE-44-8846 1 Dagger, ebon, curved 500.00
- AS-87-2319 1 Altar, silver 10000.00
-
- Wait until the additional parts arrive; you will be ready to continue the
- installation the next Friday the 13th at midnight.
-
-
- Ritual for Successfully Completing Installation
-
- Stand in front of the computer. Pour out the chalk dust in an inscribed
- pentagram around you; be sure that it is without breaks. Set an incense stick
- at each of the five corners, the altar in front of the computer, and the candle
- in front of the altar.
-
- Light each of the incense sticks and the candles, chanting in a low voice:
-
- Daemons and spirits of the netherworld
- Forces of all that is chaotic and mysterious
- Essence of Netscape and MicroSoft
-
- I am coming here to appease you
- I offer you this goat
- That my software may work
-
- I bind you here
- Do not make my system crash
- Let the software install as advertised
-
- Place the goat on the altar, and slaughter it with the dagger.
-
- May this goat feed you
- Sate your lust for blood
- Into it may your mischief fly
- Not my computer
- Make the software work
- For this is the only way
-
- Then spit into the computer's ventilation slots. This will complete different
- circuits inside the computer, causing its motherboard and cards to function in
- ways that the engineers never intended, thereby making your system compatible
- with our libraries.
-
- Reboot your computer. The installation is now complete.
-
- [This has undergone a minor rewrite for XEmacs. It originally
- appeared on rec.humor.funny courtesy of jonathan seth hayward
- <jhayward@students.uiuc.edu>, and is included by permission of the
- author].
-